Reblogged from lyssawar  311,492 notes



i think instead of the woman taking her husband’s name when they get married or doing the hyphenated thing

couples should just smash their last names together

so like if a Smith married a Grabowski you could be Smabowski or Grabith or Grasmithski

and then as the generations go on the names just get more and more ridiculous

why aren’t we doing this

That’s actually my fiance and I’s plan. Kelsey-Cullom, Cullom-Kelsey? No. We’re going to be Kelloms. (Or actually Kellums because otherwise it looks a lot like Kellogs and I am not to be associated with Frosted Flakes.)



if you think your family is dysfunctional remember that zeus got a woman pregnant but she burned to death so he rescued the fetus from her ashes and sewed it into his thigh and gave birth to it himself and that fetus is now the god of wine and sexual deviancy god bless

My great aunt stabbed her husband in the stomach on their anniversary and he decided not to divorce her because he didn’t want a custody battle over the goats.

Reblogged from olitwist  138,242 notes


i used to be afraid of ghosts when i was little so my mom used to tell me that they can be vacuumed up so she gave me a hand-held vacuum and would make me go around the house cleaning telling me that i was getting rid of all the ghosts